Why I’ve Lost Interest In Words And What I’m Doing About It

/ Stuart Danker

So I lost interest in words for a bit. No writing, reading, or even listening to words, except when work is involved. It was just one thing after the other: a new job, a newborn, my old procrastination habit. You know, the usual.

But it’s coming up to 16 months since landing a full-time job, and I’ve realised I hadn’t written for myself since. 

Do you know how much time 16 months is? I could’ve written just 250 words a day and I’d have two novels by now. I could’ve spent twenty minutes a day learning a new language and have mastered a fourth language. I could’ve laid one brick a day and built a tiny little ledge. Okay, this one’s not so impressive, but I’d have my very own ledge. Alas, all that potential is now gone.

Which is why it’s time for a reset. To once again write for myself—the only thing that’s ever brought me my breaks in life.

But first, I’ll need to learn from my mistakes. How did I end up forsaking my writing in the first place?

Excuse #1: Busy mind

The hard part about taking the time to just sit and write is that I always feel like I should be worrying about something else.

A story always needs to be finished. A photoshoot always needs to be arranged. And the people who haven’t replied to your questions are stressing you out, because that means you’ll have to actually make a phone call. And this is when I’m not on babysitting duty trying to wrestle my daughter into a fresh set of clothes.

Excuse #2: Loss of routine

Speaking of my daughter, I’ve lost all semblance of a structured day ever since I became a father. Even my pursuit of running every day is now only available on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes I head out after my daughter wakes up at 6 a.m. Other times, I’m on parent duty till 9 a.m. and can only run then. 

I can’t promise myself a specific time to do what I need to do. The only promise I can make is that I will do it. 

For writing, this loss of routine has killed my output, and it’s especially painful since I come from the ‘write every day’ camp. It reminds me of not playing a video game for a while, then returning to it having forgotten the controls or even the plot itself. Not conducive at all.

Excuse #3: I’m just lazy

This is nothing new. I have always touted writing as my sole means of expression. My gift. My only skill I can pimp out. 

But as much as I boast about writing, I only get to it a fraction of the time. I think I spend more time washing and inking my fountain pens than I actually write. Somebody tell me why I do this.

Anyway, those are my excuses. And admitting that I have a problem is the first step to recovery, amirite? So what’s my salvation?

Solution #1: Finding good focus

I’d love to think that I can write under any circumstance, but the fact is that I go through mental peaks and troughs throughout the day.

That means some times are better for writing than others. I’ve found that I have to make time rather than wait for the perfect moment, so the mornings before everybody wakes up are when I’ve started reclaiming my wordsmithery.

Unfortunately, I’ve also learned how little writing I actually get done within an hour, and am looking for ways to eke out more time.

Solution #2: Going guilt-free

In a similar vein to the above, I’ve also begun tuning in to my conscience. Every day, I pause for a bit and see if any nagging thoughts surface.

Oftentimes, they come in the form of ‘you should’ve scrubbed the bathroom when you had the time’ or ‘the altar needs a sacrificial goat’, and that’s when I know I haven’t earned my guilt-free writing.

I’ve found that if I simply listen enough, and if I knock out enough tasks floating around in my conscience, then I get the clarity to focus on the topic at hand.

Solution #3: Embracing the process

I don’t follow American football, nor do I know much about the state of Alabama, but I do know of a coach called Nick Saban and his method called The Process.

The Process is all about forgetting the big picture. It’s about focusing on the most important task at hand. In the context of American football, it’s about executing your role to the best of your ability, and expecting your teammates to do the same. 

You can’t control if the quarterback will pass you the ball, but you can run your play as best you can so that if he does, you’ll be in the right position to finish the job.

Same with writing. Most times, I don’t know what my next championship is going to be (my writing goals). I just know that I need to run a certain play (write this paragraph), and hopefully if I string enough successful plays together, I’ll be able to win the Superbowl.

I’m on day four of this plan. So far so good. 

Anyway, I hope that documenting my struggles and my shoddy recovery plan helps you if you’re in a writing rut yourself. I wish I could give you more promises, but I hear my baby stirring now, so see you when I see you, I guess.

64 thoughts on “Why I’ve Lost Interest In Words And What I’m Doing About It”

  1. Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! I’ve woke up one day and completely lost interest in writing/creating. Even freelance work feels like a chore and I really have to drag myself to do it. Good luck on your reset! I just posted the first blog in 4 months- gotta start somewhere right?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Hi Stuart, always enjoy reading your musings. I can totally relate to this. It is certainly great that you are spending time caring for your baby daughter and you would want to remember every part of this. Now that my babies are grownups, I still haven’t got my act together in getting more writing done. I try not to panic as we enter the 2nd part of the year. Keep writing and have fun juggling between work, write and taking care of your baby and everything in between . Cheers:) LH

    Like

    Reply

  3. I can definitely relate to this – up until I applied for and started my internship I lost all focus and desire to write, but now I’m back with a vengeance. I really enjoyed reading this, and wanted to say you’re not alone in this. Keep it up!! If only I could figure out how to get back into reading and outta this funk. Haha. Have a great week!

    Like

    Reply

    • Every time I feel like I’m in a funk, I bring the requirements way down. So if I used to write 250 words a day, I’ll just aim for 20. As lame as that sounds, it actually gets me started again. Same with reading. Twenty pages become one page, and before long I’m cultivating the habit again. Here’s to getting back on that horse!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. I can relate to this too well. I hope you can stick with your new plan. This: “but I’d have my very own ledge.” hilarious. And the sacrificial goat altar. Aaaaahhh, still never gets old! Good to see you around, Stuart!

    Like

    Reply

  6. Are my eyes deceiving me, Stuart is still alive?😁 Great to see a blog post from you man, I thought you have deleted your blog.

    Also, welcome back I guess to blogging. Man, a lot has happened to your life and I am happy for you brother especially the new job, well done, I guess you have lots of money😁💰💴💴, haha.

    Lastly, great explanation about the excuses and solutions for your lack of blogging. Even I disappeared for a while from WhatsApp and Instagram which I needed a break from but I am back, will disappear again in July come back August😁👏, a break is needed my friend.

    Have a great weekend and man, I have news to share but next time🙏

    Like

    Reply

    • Haha yes, and it’s great to see you too. Miss the days when we used to trade thoughts weekly, but now the priorities have shifted.

      Can’t complain about the new job, but media work, especially in Malaysia, pays very little I’m afraid. My main goal of supporting myself through fiction is still the way to go. Perhaps someday.

      Am looking forward to what news this is you have to share, btw!

      Like

      Reply

      • Well, wait and see Stuart. There is still a lot of work to be done in the writing industry and your friend “Mthobisi” will be writing books this year📖📕📕👏

        God bless and I hope one day you get paid for your fiction work

        Like

  7. I hope you get out of your reading rut soon enough, but don’t beat yourself up too much about it! As someone with many different hobbies and a busy schedule I perfectly understand this feeling of having to take the time for things you like to do, yet feeling guilty when you do them because there’s always something more pressing to take care of. But with the right mindset, and by ditching the narrative according to which we must be productive at all times, it becomes easier to take the time to do things you enjoy and make you feel good!

    Like

    Reply

    • ‘There’s always something more pressing to take care of.’ Gosh, that has to be some type of mental disease that needs more discussion. I think that’s what they mean by not being present. No matter what, I ALWAYS feel I have more important things to do, though whether or not that’s true is another thing completely. Thanks so much for stopping by, Juliette!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • I think it is a bit of a curse of our modern times, where everyone feels like their worth depends on how productive they are. It is not easy getting rid of this idea but as you say, maybe practicing being present can be a good exercise to avoid these thoughts!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Hey Stuart,

    I completely get where you are coming from! Only when my second child was born did I feel the pressure of wanting and needing to write. I made schedules of when to write to work around my boys but only to fall short. But it does get easier a little when they get older so enjoy your daughter while she is still young. Because they do grow up fast my oldest is going to be a Freshman in high school and my youngest is going to be in middle school. Where has the time gone? Just be patient and do what you can when you can. :)

    Like

    Reply

    • Lol schedules? What schedules? I don’t know how you attempted a schedule with two children. I’m barely finding the time with one. Weirdly enough, the lack of time breeds more time discipline. Maybe being too free isn’t such a good thing after all. Thanks for your lovely words, Debbie!

      Like

      Reply

  11. Hey Stuart, nice to see you post. I have a baby too so I understand. I also have some not so fun things in my life that have taken over as well. I personally have found that writing in my diary/journal every day helps keep the habit afloat. Every day is a new day so we can wake up and choose to do things differently (unless you’re lazy like me).

    Like

    Reply

    • Congrats to you too! And I see your blog output has also suffered from being a parent. It’s a rollercoaster ride, isn’t it? How have you been faring? I’m almost at month eight, so there has been some stabilisation, though with that I assume new challenges are coming.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      • I’m faring quite well baby-wise, coming up to month seven. He’s a very happy baby. I’ve got other family business as described on my blog which is not faring so well. Best of times, worst of times sort of thing.

        Like

  12. Nice to see you back! I can say from experience that the first little while with young kids is HARD and discombobulating! But it does get easier in some ways…and routine becomes possible again. Always a pleasure to read your words :)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • It definitely is easier now than it was when she was just born. But I guess it never gets much easier, just different, lol. Still, I love the challenge. And at least it’s taught me a new appreciation for time!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. I feel you on the writing slump. My newsletter, which I faithfully published every Friday morning for two years, has recently, somehow, fallen off my priority list completely, and I couldn’t even tell you exactly why. I’m having more of an existential writing crisis, I think — What does all this writing MEAN? What am I doing it FOR? Which idea do I want to focus on? It’s helpful to know other writers are going through something similar, and you remind me that maybe I don’t need to figure out how the universe works before I start writing again; I just need to DO it — write anything to get back in the habit. Thank you for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • It hurts, doesn’t it? I’d done the same for this blog and my newsletter, and now both have been put on the backburner. I’m trying to refocus. To take pride in the daily doing instead of the end result. Because I ask myself the same questions you ask yourself. Here’s to finding meaning in the work!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. I’ve just started a book called “Do Nothing.” It talks about how the culture of overworking is actually a new phenomenon that started with the Industrial Revolution, and though I haven’t gotten to the part where it says we should work less and leisure more, that’s basically what it’s going to say. Of course, having a young child complicates things, but here’s hoping we can all follow a little of that guidance. Good luck with your recovery!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  15. I’m glad to hear from you. And it sounds like writing was your most noble task until your daughter entered the world. I believe you’ve had a promotion. 😉 She’s the one who will benefit from your devotion— not us. Thank you for checking in and sharing your thoughts. Nurturing a small human can be the most difficult and demanding thing we do. It calls to our deepest sense of service. Much love to your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • Love your perspective. Perhaps all this chiding myself to write will do good after all. Maybe it’ll end up as some sort of discipline to do best for my daughter. Thanks for this view. Sure do hope WordPress kept you logged in because I’d love to know who you are!

      Like

      Reply

  16. Smiles, you’re always badass you know.

    Yeah! Your solutions actually help. And thanks for paying attention to yourself and sharing it out.

    Oh yeah! I love the closing the most:

    “See you when I see you.”

    Very interesting, badass and crazy. And yes, I shouldn’t forget it’s cool too.

    Love you as always man.

    (Chop knuckles).

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  17. I just got back from a sudden hiatus and much of what you write resonates deeply. I think for me it was more of a loss of inspiration rather than a loss of interest. I wanted to write but I had zero ideas.

    Like you said, I’ve been embracing the process lately – writing whatever comes to my mind without form or structure and I have to say, it’s been working better than I expected so far! Good to see you back, Stuart!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • That’s so true! The loss of inspiration despite wanting to write, that’s a great way of putting it. For me, the more I write, the more I can write. So it’s pretty counter-intuitive. I just need to force myself to trudge on in the beginning, and the output will take care of itself. Here’s to always learning new things about our craft!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  18. The fact that you still continue to write is still impressive to me. When I started blogging in 2021, so many people were writing, and I got to know them. But they all have disappeared one-by-one. But I am still here, and I believe you will be too. People like you and me, we are too stubborn to give up.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    • In some ways, I fear not writing, because this is the only thing I’ve ever been rewarded for. But once I’m in it, it does feel like a slog sometimes. Always great to have you here, Tanish, thanks for the support!

      Like

      Reply

  20. It might be a normal thing to beat yourself up for “wasting” 16 whole months, but I think being a parent alone (especially on the first baby) is a very necessary excuse.

    There’s this movie, Look Both Ways, where a lady’s unexpected pregnancy makes her take a complete turn from what she envisioned for herself, but she found a way to draw inspiration from the whole parenthood era. It’s fictional, but I believe it can apply to real life situations.

    You might end up conjuring something wonderful and new out of this 16 months. Who knows? ;)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I might need to check that movie out, then. It’s a perspective that I share, though. For me, I want to be able to do the most I can no matter what my day is like. And your perspective is very comforting to me. Thanks for sharing this!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Oh yeah, I’ve been nurturing my relationship with priorities ever since I became a parent. Because the moment I think I’ve established a routine, a new development happens and I’ll have to start over, lol. Thanks for the supportive words!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  22. Congratulations on your daughter. Kids have a habit of changing our routines. Speaking of which, we recently became first-time grandparents. Not quite the same as you. We live 2,000 miles away and have very few responsibilities.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • I remember you telling me about your grandchild. Congrats again! But living 2,000 miles away is a whole other thing though. I’m fortunate that my dad is just 15 miles away so bonding time is easy to come by.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  24. I stopped blogging in February ( but was still writing) due to feeling overwhelmed and depressed. I’ve just returned and hopefully we’ll both keep trundling on. <3

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  26. It’s good to hear your voice again. Let’s just clear one thing up – dads don’t babysit. It’s called parenting. Ok, now I can get off my high horse. Life has a way of changing all the time which is most inconvenient for those of us who like to keep things neat. Babies bring chaos to our lives and with it the opportunity to become more flexible. Most of the time, when we had small children, I created in the cracks. Time was like a rare golden ticket and exhaustion was a constant. You’re doing great Stuart. Cut yourself some slack. This too shall pass. But by then baby number two will arrive and you’ll be at the top of the roller coaster again. We, your followers, will read any offering you make to the goats. You never fail to make me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • ‘Created in the cracks’ should be a motto for time-strapped creatives. There’s no other way around it. Gone are the days where two-hour uninterrupted sessions were a thing. And yes, perhaps baby number two might throw me for a loop all over again, lol. Don’t even dare imagine that now. Thanks for your kind words!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a reply to Natalie Brooke Cancel reply