So I lost interest in words for a bit. No writing, reading, or even listening to words, except when work is involved. It was just one thing after the other: a new job, a newborn, my old procrastination habit. You know, the usual.
But it’s coming up to 16 months since landing a full-time job, and I’ve realised I hadn’t written for myself since.
Do you know how much time 16 months is? I could’ve written just 250 words a day and I’d have two novels by now. I could’ve spent twenty minutes a day learning a new language and have mastered a fourth language. I could’ve laid one brick a day and built a tiny little ledge. Okay, this one’s not so impressive, but I’d have my very own ledge. Alas, all that potential is now gone.
Which is why it’s time for a reset. To once again write for myself—the only thing that’s ever brought me my breaks in life.
But first, I’ll need to learn from my mistakes. How did I end up forsaking my writing in the first place?
Excuse #1: Busy mind
The hard part about taking the time to just sit and write is that I always feel like I should be worrying about something else.
A story always needs to be finished. A photoshoot always needs to be arranged. And the people who haven’t replied to your questions are stressing you out, because that means you’ll have to actually make a phone call. And this is when I’m not on babysitting duty trying to wrestle my daughter into a fresh set of clothes.
Excuse #2: Loss of routine
Speaking of my daughter, I’ve lost all semblance of a structured day ever since I became a father. Even my pursuit of running every day is now only available on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes I head out after my daughter wakes up at 6 a.m. Other times, I’m on parent duty till 9 a.m. and can only run then.
I can’t promise myself a specific time to do what I need to do. The only promise I can make is that I will do it.
For writing, this loss of routine has killed my output, and it’s especially painful since I come from the ‘write every day’ camp. It reminds me of not playing a video game for a while, then returning to it having forgotten the controls or even the plot itself. Not conducive at all.
Excuse #3: I’m just lazy
This is nothing new. I have always touted writing as my sole means of expression. My gift. My only skill I can pimp out.
But as much as I boast about writing, I only get to it a fraction of the time. I think I spend more time washing and inking my fountain pens than I actually write. Somebody tell me why I do this.
Anyway, those are my excuses. And admitting that I have a problem is the first step to recovery, amirite? So what’s my salvation?
Solution #1: Finding good focus
I’d love to think that I can write under any circumstance, but the fact is that I go through mental peaks and troughs throughout the day.
That means some times are better for writing than others. I’ve found that I have to make time rather than wait for the perfect moment, so the mornings before everybody wakes up are when I’ve started reclaiming my wordsmithery.
Unfortunately, I’ve also learned how little writing I actually get done within an hour, and am looking for ways to eke out more time.
Solution #2: Going guilt-free
In a similar vein to the above, I’ve also begun tuning in to my conscience. Every day, I pause for a bit and see if any nagging thoughts surface.
Oftentimes, they come in the form of ‘you should’ve scrubbed the bathroom when you had the time’ or ‘the altar needs a sacrificial goat’, and that’s when I know I haven’t earned my guilt-free writing.
I’ve found that if I simply listen enough, and if I knock out enough tasks floating around in my conscience, then I get the clarity to focus on the topic at hand.
Solution #3: Embracing the process
I don’t follow American football, nor do I know much about the state of Alabama, but I do know of a coach called Nick Saban and his method called The Process.
The Process is all about forgetting the big picture. It’s about focusing on the most important task at hand. In the context of American football, it’s about executing your role to the best of your ability, and expecting your teammates to do the same.
You can’t control if the quarterback will pass you the ball, but you can run your play as best you can so that if he does, you’ll be in the right position to finish the job.
Same with writing. Most times, I don’t know what my next championship is going to be (my writing goals). I just know that I need to run a certain play (write this paragraph), and hopefully if I string enough successful plays together, I’ll be able to win the Superbowl.
I’m on day four of this plan. So far so good.
Anyway, I hope that documenting my struggles and my shoddy recovery plan helps you if you’re in a writing rut yourself. I wish I could give you more promises, but I hear my baby stirring now, so see you when I see you, I guess.
Stuart Danker 
I’d love to hear your thoughts!