“Maybe your writing sits better with westerners than with Asians,” Nick said, comparing my blog posts (read: more than five readers) to the Facebook shares (my sister being the sole reader) I occasionally put out.
I nodded with reluctance. It wasn’t as if Malaysia lacked a thriving reading community, but there was also no denying it: I get more traffic and engagement from the USA than anywhere else, all things considered.
As much as I’d like to believe that hard work and talent trumps all, it’s becoming real apparent to me that getting your work seen by the appropriate audience seems to be a more effective way of approaching things than just blindly churning out content week after week.
It wasn’t my first time entertaining these questions. I had recently took up a job in Myanmar, learning and writing about the beautiful country during a two-week trip (it was supposed to be a month but I had a falling out with the organiser). That would be where I’d question my ability to survive on my writing alone.
There I was, arranging words for money, while the people of Myanmar had to earn a living in a totally different economy. What did I have to offer the country should I get stranded there?
I could still try being a writer, or even fall back to my hairdressing skills, but something told me that those vocations wouldn’t be very high in demand there.
“I don’t know why I started writing. I don’t know why anybody does it. Maybe they’re bored, or failures at something else.”
Then I dove deeper. Would I still have been a writer had I been born in Myanmar? What about the inverse? Would I have enjoyed better writing opportunities had I been born in cities like California?
I didn’t like thinking about that, because that implied the futility of improving my craft, of hustling my entire life only to end up undiscovered at the end of it all. Much like Van Gogh, without the posthumous success.
You gotta dig deep
During my trip in Mogok, a city known as the Ruby Land in Myanmar, I met a miner who’d spend his days at the unlicensed mines, digging through the dirt—often with bare hands—just to eke out a meagre living.
The sun was setting behind the overcast skies and a drizzle blanketed the area, adding a small bite to the chilly weather. His bare fingers must’ve been freezing from shovelling through the wet gravel.
He stood before two women—the middlemen who’d purchase gems from the miners before reselling them—hands in his armpits, face weary from an honest day’s work.
My guide helped me translate the tense dialogue that took place between them.
“There’s at least fifty thousand kyat here,” the miner said. He’d appraised his catch of the day—an assortment of rubies, sapphires, and spinels—at some thirty US dollars. His words were peppered with hope but slathered with doubt.
The woman let the price hang in the air for a bit as she sifted through the colourful gems on the tin plate.
“Five thousand,” she said. “That’s the best I can do. Nothing here is of value, except this little ruby.”
The miner slumped. He was about to go home with just three US dollars.
“Make it ten thousand then. Please.”
With a feigned reluctance, the woman settled on her final offer: “Eight thousand.”
And that was it. About five US dollars for an entire day’s work. I watched him clutch the money tightly in his hand as he boarded the community bus, grateful for that something he could take home for the day.
As someone who’d always worked low-paying jobs (my starting pay as a hairdresser was about two hundred US dollars per month), I did feel a twinge of pain for the guy. But I guess this was the life I was spared, despite being born in a country that I complain about often.
You gotta do what you gotta do
Harsh living conditions aside, the little glimpse of a miner’s life did highlight certain similarities between digging for gems and writing.
There’s the part where you put in the hard work without knowing what you’d get for your efforts. You dig, you add little stones to your collection, and when it’s finally large enough to sell, you present them to someone who’s hopefully willing to buy.
Most times you get shit pay. Then you stumble across a gem (though sometimes it’s hard to determine if it’s the product of hard work or luck) that’s valuable enough to get you through the month. If you’re lucky enough, you get a star ruby that’ll turn your life around. Or else, you just maintain this existence for your entire life.
And that’s where the faith comes in. Sometimes your mind tells you that there’s no reason to show up today. It’s just the same thing over and over. You’ll never be the top one percent. Why even bother?
“I have one of two choices—stay in the post office and go crazy, or stay out here and play at writer and starve. I have decided to starve.”
But then you have that little voice inside your head that says there’s a chance you might actually make it. Many people stifle this voice, especially in writing, and they end up being an editor, a social-media executive, a journalist.
And every day, you—who’s churning out articles for a content mill, who’s doing nothing but crafting social media statuses, who’s jaded by back-to-back interviews with bank officers when finance isn’t even your interest—listen to this plea, but you’re burdened by the responsibility of earning a living.
What would happen if you quit your job? If you downsized to a humble lifestyle so that you could finally finish that novel? If you took your savings to pursue an MFA? We’ll never know.
But one thing we know is that we have one life, and as Jim Carrey said, you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance of doing what you love.
You gotta have faith
So this is where I’m at, being a Malaysian writer with the odds stacked against me, trying to breach into the competitive English market, saturated with greats from America and England who have privileges equivalent to what I have over the miners in Myanmar.
Yet that doesn’t faze me. I continue to grind, with only faith as my guiding light. It’ll guide me through months of eating oatmeal for lunch, through the endless pages of data showing how little English writers earn in Malaysia. It’ll help me forge on because that little voice inside me says that this is a path worth paving.
I’ll rest easier knowing that I tried hard enough to achieve my dreams, rather than living life the way society wants me to.
I don’t know what I’d do if I was born in Myanmar, or if English wasn’t my first language, but it’s surely not going to be doing what others deem is the right thing to do.
Maybe that’s our ultimate purpose in the end, to know that we’ve pushed our hardest in the direction our dreams, to not judge ourselves by the goals we reach, but by the effort we put into realising them.
Because in the end, it doesn’t matter where I am or what my circumstances are, as long as my heart’s in the right place, then that’s where I want to be.
22 thoughts on “NON FICTION: Discovering My Writing Faith In The Ruby Mines Of Myanmar”
The best compliment I share with others is, that’s “good stuff.” And that’s some “good stuff.” In fact, I just read some other “good stuff” that you have written. You are indeed a writer of “good stuff.”
Whoa, didn’t expect to be called a writer of good stuff, but I’ll take it. Thanks so much for compliment, and I have to say, this comment itself is good stuff indeed :)
This was a really interesting read. The writing industry is a whole separate element to the personal desire to write, isn’t it? Though they influence each other in many ways.
Personally, I’ve challenged my own definitions of ‘success’ many times over the years. I no longer think of it in terms of gate-keeper approval.
Oh yes! It’s great that you’ve started reframing your need for approval. I myself am learning to do that, but can get pretty carried away with the approval of others, lol. Thanks for stopping by!
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Congratulations ❤️️ ,I have nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award,for further details do check https://backtosquareones.wordpress.com/2020/08/05/sunshine-blogger-award/
Aww, thanks for the nomination! Will definitely get to it when I have the time. Stay awesome :)
All the best ❤️
Well said hehe
Thanks for dropping the comment and I hope you enjoyed it!
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Nice piece, Stuart. I don’t disagree with you but I wonder if intangible things like success are sometimes best approached from the side. Can we be guilty of trying too hard? Many writers seem to break through in the weirdest and most unpredictable of ways…
I was just watching the Rogan–Choe podcast, and this artist said that the worse he acted, the more successes fell into his lap, so I really do agree with you that unpredictability is the name of the game when it comes to the arts.
I sleep better at night knowing I’ve put in enough effort though (even though sticking to that commitment can be pretty challenging), so I guess that’s my method of approach?
Thanks for stopping by and dropping this thought-provoking comment!
Great post, Stuart. I loved how you compared the miner searching for gems to trying to cultivate your writing and presenting it, only to risk rejection. I’m glad you continue to pursue your dream : )
I try to see writing in everything, so I’m glad that you enjoyed this comparison instead of seeing it as something shoehorned into something else, lol. Thanks for dropping by, and I love your comment!
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Welcome : )
It can be a roadblock if you let it, that’s for sure.
Why write? is such a scary question, and I think you answer it beautifully.
That’s always the question though, isn’t it? Thanks for the kind words, and coming from an author such as yourself makes it that much more meaningful. Glad you stopped by, Christy!
Wow look at all the stuff you’ve described there, you have unique experience! You’re right that you (general you) have to keep working hard, but be a little proud that you have stuff to work with.
Sometimes it’s hard to be proud when you feel like an impostor all the time, lol. But yeah, as long as we keep striving, the feeling proud part should come naturally as well. Always a pleasure to see your comments here :)
Thanks☺. Oh and I totally get the imposter thing. I’ve heard that never goes away. I hope I’m in a position someday to find out if that’s true. 😉
Really loved hearing your perspective! Breaking into the market is tough, but you have a fresh and interesting perspective. Best of luck!
Aw yis, I strive to keep the perspective fresh so that I can draw awesome commenters like you in. Thanks for dropping by!
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