dating

Love Lessons I’ve Learned From Being An Asshole

/ Stuart Danker / 50 Comments

A couple sitting on the uppermost floor of apartments with bottle of whiskey between them, overlooking night cityscape

”It’s just puppy love.”

That’s what my mum said when I was all but 14 years old and going through my first heartbreak. “Don’t worry. You’ll know real love soon enough,” she said.

Then you don’t know love, I thought. I was hurting so bad that it had to be real love. My parents just forgot how it was to be a teen. That’s how I justified it.

But as it’d turn out, she was right. I would finally meet my soulmate and we’d be together for more than a decade. And only now I’m learning what true love is. Danged adults and their wisdom.

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FICTION: The Final Tinder Date

/ Stuart Danker / 2 Comments

Final Tinder Date - Silhouette of woman

Photo: Aaron Mello

This post was written for a writing prompt titled: “You discover an online, supposedly random “Yes/No” generator. But, after playfully using it for a short while, you find it to be 100% accurate in foretelling the future.”

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I’m in my car, waiting for Sara—my Tinder date—to get ready for our night out. A Reddit post shows up on my feed: “This Miracle Crystal Ball app can predict your future!” Yeah, sounds like garbage, but Sara’s not ready, and I have time to kill.

I visit the site, and the only thing on it is an empty field with an ‘Ask’ button. I type: “Will dinner with Sara be fun?”

“Yes.”

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POETRY: Unsaid words

/ Stuart Danker / 1 Comment

I used to slip her little notes,
In her closet, her bags, her pillows and clothes,
“Surprise!” the words I’d begin to pen,
“I love you. P.S: You’ve good taste in men.”

She’d laugh at these small novelties,
She loved the lil’ discoveries,
“I’ll get you back one day,” she’d say,
With a smile in her eyes, “There’ll be hell to pay!”

Been years, since we’ve moved past that mess,
Since she left me for someone else,
And I’d dust the coat I’ve not worn in a while,
And in the pocket a sheet would lie.

“I got you back just like I said,
“You’re cute, you’re sweet, and you’re really great,
“You’re my only one, my Mister Right,”
And I wept myself to sleep that night.

NON FICTION: Strangers In Time

/ Stuart Danker / 2 Comments

Photo credit: Boris Thaser

Photo credit: Boris Thaser

Sometimes my mind plucks out memories at random, and as part of the collateral, visions of people who’ve left a mark on my life without actually being a part of it get pulled out of the muck. These are strangers whose names and faces have escaped me through the passage of time, with only their actions serving as proof of our acquaintance.

I call these people randies, and I was thinking about one as I opened the door to the Jiu-jitsu gym. The thought barely even matured before Josh waved a phone at my face. “Hey! I heard Sandy’s getting married?”

“What?”

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