Thanks For Coming To My TED Talk

/ Stuart Danker
Stuart on stage for his TED Talk

That’s me!

This year has proved to be a productive one, as I’ve managed to land a new job, get married, and—perhaps most surprising of all—I’ve been invited to give a TED Talk.

I mean, it was a TEDx event, so it wasn’t exactly the real deal, but I’ve been meaning to use the TED Talk meme unironically, so I guess I finally get to!

I was flattered to share the stage with people who’ve accomplished so much with their lives, which got me thinking, just what did I do to deserve it? All I could think about was finishing my book.

In fact, so much of my career has stemmed from that sole action in my life. One decision that would alter my writing trajectory.

Finishing my novel despite my doubts

To say I felt doubtful would be underselling it. I was in my late thirties, without a career and money, playing at being an author, in a country that didn’t much care for fiction.

Some of those doubts included:

  • This is stupid
  • Nobody will want to read this story
  • I’ll never get published
  • I’ll never even finish writing the novel
  • Malaysia isn’t big on sci-fi, particularly English sci-fi

Despite all that, I still managed to waddle past the finish line. Day by day, I added a few hundred words to the project. I set aside a shoestring budget for the year or so I’d dedicated to that novel, and lived off the bare necessities.

And that novel would be my ticket to so many other opportunities in my writing career.

But writing that book wasn’t a goal I’d decided to pursue on a whim. In fact, I’d harboured that dream for eight years before daring to act on it.

The catalyst? A day at a cheesy fake guru seminar.

The day I quit my cushy job

Perhaps the biggest reason for my doubts during my novel-writing days can be attributed to my quitting a decent job just to pursue my dreams.

As the content manager for Malaysia Airlines, I’d landed a pretty comfortable job title and company, both padding up my resume pretty nicely.

Still, I couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling that I was meant to do something else. My conscience kept telling me to write fiction, even though I didn’t see a future in it.

So I did the adult thing. I figured that’s what adulting meant: letting go of fancy notions like dreams and just putting my nose to the grindstone called life.

That was until my company decided to enrol all its employees in an NLP self-improvement seminar.

To call it an NLP seminar would be a joke though, because all I remember was being forced to cheer lame platitudes, participate in cheesy team-building games, and basically partake in what I’d consider an MLM rah-rah recruiting session.

I remember feeling so alienated from my company’s vision because of that. Because despite growing up with Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins’s books, I was particularly averse towards people who gave advice they didn’t seem to follow.

It was a two-day course. I barely made it past the first. On the next day, I quit my job to finally take charge of my life for once. So that was another pivotal point in my life. It was when I realised that I had the power to dictate what I wanted to do.

So in some ways, I guess the seminar did work after all.

But to give the seminar all the credit would be to do my other mistakes a disservice. Because I wouldn’t even think about writing a novel had I not entered the publishing industry in the first place.

Which brings me to another pivotal moment in my life.

The hopeless era

I had spent six years in hairdressing only to realise it wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Then I went into accounting and learned even quicker that it wasn’t what I wanted to do at all.

I knew I wanted to do something with my life, but I didn’t know what. I didn’t know where to start. No idea what I could do.

I guess my desperation did end up helping, because otherwise, I wouldn’t have browsed all the available categories on a job portal, and I wouldn’t come across my first writing vacancy.

In fact, I didn’t even think I belonged, since I had no proper education, nor the relevant experience.

But I did apply for the job, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Still, I don’t think recounting my pivotal moments makes for a decent post. So let’s sum up with a worthwhile conclusion, shall we?

This could be your pivotal moment

The weird thing about all the pivotal moments above is that I felt like I was going through the worst times in my life when I was deep in the action.

But as I look back at all the opportunities I’ve had today, I can specifically trace the moments that led me here. It just took some time before I managed to see those moments as the blessings they were.

Which is why I’m writing this post today.

Because whatever you’re going through right now—especially if you’re careening down a trough—could very well be the pivotal moment you have to go through before your life turns around.

And while I didn’t enjoy the fake guru seminar, I can spout platitudes just as well as they can, and I can tell you that all the good and bad events in your life will make up the mosaic that is your own story. And a story without ups and downs is boring as hell.

That’s all I have for you today.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Be a part of my newsletter for more content like this (that you won’t get elsewhere on the site). Also includes a free guide on how to grow your blog through the art of commenting.

Join the community

26 thoughts on “Thanks For Coming To My TED Talk”

  1. Okay, reading your post today was an experience of very personal affirmation for me ~ and I’m thinking that your TED invitation may have come largely because you clear yourself for such synchronicities on a very high level, so lots of people get this same experience from whatever part of you or your work they find themselves brushing up against, not just myself.

    In my case, it was just today that I was meditating that when I was younger and still (just barely) strong enough to meet a work schedule it was never the work itself which made me unhappy ~ it was the strong feeling that I was personally supposed to be doing other things, just as you describe.

    Then I got to the “worst part of my life” part and just had to chuckle. I’ve never backed away from life, so as a poor single woman with the sensitivity of a poet my life has not been lacking in moments of trauma ~ but I’m over the two year mark on this current trouble, and melting down at last ~ it’s a choice between using my energy to work or to keep from weeping without ever stopping again.

    Like yourself I’ve struggled on with the work for years under truly appalling conditions ~ but now I can’t. Though I’ve had all kinds of abuse from this world it’s definitely the worst moment of my life ~ hopefully all these synchronicities between your message and my experience indicate a pivotal moment toward something good, even though to me what it feels like is total failure on every level.

    Thanks for the juice-up ~ keep up the good work!

    Like

    Reply

  2. I’m a huge fan of TED and giving a TEDx talk someday is on my dream bucket list, so congrats! That’s awesome! :D The pivotal moments you mentioned are exciting and nerve-wracking. Last summer, I made a choice to leave an incredibly flexible online teaching job that I’d been in for 8 years and knew like the back of my hand; I was scared to do it, but I knew I was burned out from my current position. I needed to take a leap of faith and try for a college instructor position that I’d wanted forever that had finally opened. It was only a temporary position at the time, so I knew I was putting myself into a risky place if it ended in May; fortunately, due to some retirements and increased enrollment, I’m now at the new job permanently! I’m glad I took that leap.

    Like

    Reply

  4. Pingback: I Have Been A Lot Different - Thomas Slatin

  5. Hey Stuart, congrats on your remarkable achievement. A TED Talk! The very podium that has been graced by many luminaries, and now embraces your footprints as well. Like a butterfly spreading its wings for the first time, you stepped onto the stage and unfurled the wealth of wisdom you possess.

    It seems to me that we, as humans, are prone to focus on the steps in our dance of life—the carefully choreographed twirls of success—rather than on the music that moves us, the melody of our own dreams and aspirations. We allow our identities to be forged by our accomplishments rather than our desires, forgetting that life’s true essence lies not in the glory of victory but in the very joy of the journey itself.

    I, too, recently danced to the rhythm of this dance. But as the curtain fell on one chapter of my life, I stepped away from the applause and the spotlight. I found myself in a quiet backstage, away from the clamor of success, and there, in the hushed whispers of my heart, I found my truth.

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and for inviting us to look through the window of your perspective. But most of all, for making us part of your story. Congratulations once again on your eloquent TED Talk, and even though it was a TEDx event, being on stage in and of itself is still an achievement worthy of being proud of.

    Like

    Reply

  6. O wow! O wow! O wow! 2023 is truly your year bro! Congrats. New job / Marriage / Tedx. (coincidentally my upcoming post is about another TED talk) I can’t think of anything that could top all that. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing man and for spurring writers everywhere.

    Like

    Reply

  8. You’ve had quite the full year! Congratulations on all your accomplishments! 💞💞💞 I think many times we won’t know what the pivotal moments are until we look back at them. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  9. Congratulations Stuart on getting on the Ted Talk stage and a wonderful year. I guess everyone has their share of hopeless era where we start doubting our abilities and purpose in life. Getting through that phase is tough but every step no matter how small taken towards growth is all we need to focus on.

    Like

    Reply

  10. First off, congratulations on a big year. I missed if you shared the personal stuff about getting married sometime before. Regardless of the goal, I admire anyone who dares to go for it. When it involves following a dream, especially when the safe route would be to stay in a stable job, albeit one you weren’t thrilled about, that is called courage, my friend.

    It may or may not work out. The point is you didn’t let anyone deter you from following your heart. That has to feel pretty great.

    Like

    Reply

  11. Congratulations, Stuart! I love how the self-improvement seminar really did work. Hilarious – and inspiring. As is your continued and constant efforts to the finish line. Pivotal moments, yes – but also steady efforts.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your life and your pivotal moments Stuart. It’s amazing how we can pinpoint those moments and look back to realise they were all for a reason. All guiding you to where you’re meant to be. I can think of a few in my life too. Congrats on your book, your TEDx talk and on getting married. That’s quite a year you’ve had!

    Like

    Reply

  13. Congratulations! Whilst navigating our pivotal points in life, we need to reflect that they become part of the mosaic! Life is rich with ups and downs….anyway, hard work never killed anyone! Thanks for sharing your inspiring lifestyle! Cheers!

    Like

    Reply

  14. Stuart, this is so inspiring, from a hairdresser to a writer, I love it! I mean it looks like you never give up, which is the main driving force behind every success story. It’s wonderful, I am so glad you also became a blogger now so that we all can learn about you through WP. Keep going! The best is yet to come!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  15. What a great story, Stuart! What an adventurous, brave guy you are! A TEDx talk is definitely a very real deal. As is marriage, job scrolling, jumping from a safe job, following a dream on a shoestring budget. I knew there was a reason I liked your blog more than anyone else’s. You’re the real deal. And you write beautifully. Thanks for once upon a time commenting on my blog so that I found you. (I don’t read many blogs.) Last week I wrote about being in limbo, waiting for an assessment of my work-in-progress. My novel (first) is in its sixth year. It’s been tough but being without it is so uncomfortable. I can’t wait to get it back and begin again. Keep doing what you do. You’re great at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. Congratulations for the accomplishments…and for the self-awareness reminders. Yup…sometimes we only appreciate the good stuff because we’ve trudged through the crapola. Cheers to you, Stuart! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. Let’s hope I never end up on a talk, I probably would lose my confidence.

    Jokes aside, I rather listen to you Stuart, instead of those morons who get paid by the companies, who should increase the salaries of the employees instead of contracting these fools.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

I'd love to hear your thoughts!