habits

Why routines are important

/ Stuart Danker / 8 Comments

Say what you want about the self-help world, but if there’s one thing they got right, it’s morning routines.

You don’t even need to adopt the industry standard habits either. No 4 a.m. wake-up times or cold showers necessary. A walk would suffice. Or a stretch. Even brewing your coffee a certain way counts as a routine, as long as you commit to it daily.

Why are routines important? Because when there is one constant, every other variable in life becomes more noticeable.

We’re human, after all, and we’re all susceptible to the likes of insomnia, illness, or in my case, constantly making vague references to goat sacrifices.

This is where routines come into play. They help ground us. They’re the one thing that binds our days together, regardless of their contents. That’s where we learn how to perform, despite our feelings.

Feeling tired? You do your morning yoga anyway. Sick? You unfurl that mat. Hungover? Do. The. Downward. Dog.

Once your mind learns it’s stronger than your body, once you gain more faith in yourself, you’ll start taking on bigger tasks. And you continue this trend, knowing that you can keep your promises to self, no matter what life throws at you.

There’s no magic in getting up earlier. No secret sauce to meditations. It’s the cumulative effect of showing up every day—get this—regardless of how you feel.

And it all starts with a simple thing like a five-minute stretch every day.

Or a daily goat sacrifice.

Plan to do it again tomorrow

/ Stuart Danker / 13 Comments

You might adopt a diet to lose weight, a workout regimen to get fitter, a writing routine to finish your novel.

But you’ll never attain anything meaningful if your pursuits end after you reach the finish line.

It’s not about reaching your weight goal. It’s about staying there. No point aiming for riches if you’re just going to squander it all the very next day.

Seeking improvement requires ditching the habits that are holding us back. So it makes no sense to return to past habits once you reach your goals.

That means changing your eating habits for a lifetime. Not retiring from your passions. Adopting that new habit f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Don’t look at me like that. It’s not as dramatic as I’m making it seem.

Plus, the good news is that instead of going full-out keto or vegan, you can take it slow. Perhaps you could ditch the fizzy drinks. Or that daily doughnut. That’s not too much to ask. Which improves your chances of building a new life habit.

From now on, before you do something in the name of self-improvement, ask yourself: Will I be able to do this tomorrow? And the day after that? Forever and ever? Amen?

Because you won’t make significant progress through a one-month detox, the same way you won’t turn into an author just by participating in NaNo.

House always wins

/ Stuart Danker / 13 Comments

In the game of life, it’s important to play the odds. Maybe you’re born with a shitty hand, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work on improving your chances.

Casinos are rich for a reason. Despite the tiny edge the house has, they still make a killing thanks to volume.

And while your life shouldn’t be compared to how much people spend at blackjack tables, you should know that the tiny improvements you make over time could very well result in a vastly different life.

Sure, banking on that overnight success might be the dream, but which is more likely? Winning the lottery? Or getting that promotion by improving your craft?

Instant success may or may not happen your entire lifetime. But taking small steps towards improvement is very much achievable. In fact, you could do something to improve your life this very moment.

Stack enough of those moments together and you’ll effectively create your own luck. In other words, the habit of collecting small wins increases your chances of winning the lottery.

Even if you don’t, at least you’ll have the spoils of your small wins to fall back on. And I wouldn’t be surprised if those small improvements total up to be more than a lottery’s worth of winnings.

Here’s how you build good habits

/ Stuart Danker / 12 Comments

You move the starting line backwards.

That means simply sitting at the keyboard for an hour if the goal is to write. Changing into your gym clothes and stepping out the door if it’s to run. Or just opening your textbook if it’s to study.

Don’t look too far ahead, don’t aim for the results. Good things rarely pay off immediately, anyway.

You’ll find the momentum from these starting tasks to be rather compelling in getting you to complete your tasks.

I’ve been reading Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey and it’s been a blast seeing how other creatives approach their craft.

That’s how I learned about Twyla Tharp, and this was how she described her routine.

“I begin each day of my life with a ritual. I wake up at 5:30 A.M., put on my workout clothes, my leg warmers, my sweatshirts, and my hat. I walk outside my Manhattan home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me to the Pumping Iron gym at 91st Street and First Avenue, where I work out for two hours.

“The ritual is not the stretching and weight training I put my body through each morning at the gym; the ritual is the cab. The moment I tell the driver where to go I have completed the ritual.

“It’s a simple act, but doing it the same way each morning habitualises it—makes it repeatable, easy to do. It reduces the chance that I would skip it or do it differently. It is one more item in my arsenal of routines, and one less thing to think about.”

Here’s how I’ve been approaching my own routines:

  • I sit with the blank page first thing every morning, regardless of whether or not I have anything to write
  • I do 10 push-ups or squats without planning to work out
  • I wake up at six in the morning, walk downstairs, and make myself a cup of coffee, even if I plan to get more sleep

I don’t tell myself I need to write my best work. I don’t aim for any new physical records. I don’t even plan to get up early.

But by putting one foot across the starting line daily, I end up writing a thousand words, working out for an hour, getting a headstart to my day.

There’s also one hidden benefit: the pride of keeping your promises to self, no matter how small. And I guess that’s as good a finishing line as any.

NON FICTION: The Case For Writing One Sentence A Day

/ Stuart Danker / 8 Comments

Fountain pen and cursive writing

Photo: Alvaro Serrano

Think about getting off your chair right now and doing thirty minutes’ worth of bodyweight exercises. Think about writing a book. Think about picking the salad instead of that pizza you were craving.

Chances are, you probably have a long list of things you’d rather do, and why shouldn’t you? None of those ideas seem like fun, even if they’re already part of your routine.

Yet these are the types of tasks we wish we could do to replace our Netflix binges and nights out drinking. They’re just boring as hell to get started on.

So let me offer you a way out.

Continue reading →