I used to talk people out of their dreams. They would tell me about their dreams of doing jiu-jitsu full time, and I would reply with downers like “Who’s gonna pay your cancer bills?”
Quite hypocritical, seeing how I once flew to Thailand to stay and train in a Muay Thai gym for a month. Other random goals include joining a regional MMA competition alone and quitting my cushy job to a write a novel.
But you know what? While those pursuits produced little benefits—book sales were abysmal, for instance—they did change who I was as a person. I would be more proactive, not seeing obstacles as problems. All I needed to do was to get from point A to point B, something I could not do when having to jump through hoops along the chain of authority.
That taught me how dreams didn’t need to be practical. It’s good to know what it’s like to take a chance. And if anything, there is merit to knowing that you’re capable of chasing your dreams.
Why throw caution to the wind
Look, I’ve been through many cycles between ‘dat hustle life’ and ‘just enjoy life, bro’, and they both have their upsides. But I believe that everybody should at least try pursuing their far-fetched goals, especially when they can’t shake it out of their minds.
Because then you learn what true stakes really are. I was a digital marketer once, and I spent thousands of dollars on shitty Facebook ads without a care in the world (it was other people’s money, after all).
But when it came to promoting my own freelance business, let’s just say that I became sooo much more prudent with my ad spend.
We go through life not really caring because what stakes do we hold? That changes when we pursue our passions. We automatically do it with vigour, because it’s something we have full ownership over. And nothing coaxes vigour out of you more than your own brainchild.
Also, you’ll end up among the stars. Let’s not sugarcoat it—your chances of achieving your goals are probably slim, especially those of the far-fetched variety. Like, how many successful novelists are there in the world versus its population of eight billion people? How many of them are Malaysians?
But trying allows you to fail forward. You either learn why you keep failing, or you realise it’s not for you. Either way, you’ll walk away having taken a chance on yourself. Not many people can say that, and personally, I still feel a bit of pride telling people that I joined an MMA competition to pursue my dream.
More interestingly, your failures could open up so many other doors. My novel, for instance, wasn’t successful by any means, but it has since given me so much more credibility for my other pursuits, such as fast-tracking my way into becoming a managing editor for a lifestyle magazine.
You become a better person. I used to hate numbers in school, especially when additional mathematics came into the picture. Why learn algebraic formulas that I wouldn’t use in real life? Why not spend all that time playing video games instead? At least fine motor skills was practical, amirite?
What I didn’t know was that the numbers didn’t matter. It was the problem-solving skills involved. It was interpreting problems, working out the steps, and executing them until you came to a conclusion. It was figuring out where you went wrong and experiencing the eureka moments when a formula finally made sense.
No matter what your dreams are—to learn shorthand, say, or to win a barista championship—you have to put in the work. And that decision to better yourself, to make the time, and to overcome obstacles will serve you well in all your other endeavours.
But enough about glazing on why you should chase your dreams. You probably knew the benefits already. Let’s get on with the message.
Your goals are yours alone
My views on providence and fate stems from an interview I once had with a local celebrity Nadhir Nasar. He said: “If it wasn’t meant for you, you wouldn’t be thinking about it in the first place.”
What a wonderful way to put it. You may have dreams of being a chef, a comedian, or even a professional crocheter. Dreams that you alone, in your unique capacity, can bring to life. And if they weren’t yours, they wouldn’t even have stood out in your mind.
That quote was what solidified my beliefs that greatness happens through us instead of through sheer will. Because when done right, our callings don’t even feel effortful.
We’d be driven forward by an invisible force, through our biggest challenges, and still come out on the other side feeling like we’ve barely begun. Give her the space to appear, and the Muse will take hold of our hands, guiding us into materialising our visions.
This was why, after that interview, I no longer felt bashful about my authorial dreams. Writing novels was not practical or beneficial in any way, especially within Malaysia’s literary ecosystem. But that idea never wavered, and so I’ve come to accept it as a goal given by the creator, whose name I would insult if I did not at least try.
The weird thing is, the universe rewards me more when I embark on these uncertain paths. Like when I quit my cushy marketing gig at Malaysia Airlines to write my first novel. I was earning more than I should, in a credible national company, and still I wanted to do something stupid like make up a story and turn it into a book.
Yet that’s how I got traditionally published. Sure, I wasn’t a successful novelist by any means, but I had tried, and the universe said yes, keep doing that. Then I found another cushy job.
We’ve been down this road before
I now find myself at a crossroads once more. I have a glamorous job, a decent salary, and a daughter to take care of. But the seed in my mind has grown, and I’m unable to see the forest for the tree (ha).
Let me first state that no children will be endangered in the process of any dream-chasing. My daughter will still have food, education, and a roof over her head. Maybe not as many toys, but she’ll make do.
You might have advice for me just as how I did for the young adults wanting to pursue jiu-jitsu full-time. And you could come up with a compelling argument, but I’ll ask you to hold on to those thoughts.
Because I’m learning how much life you gain by actually living on your own terms. And perhaps, showing up with that spark in your eye would mean so much more than being a zombie, especially around the people you love.
Stuart Danker 
I’d love to hear your thoughts!