So in a recent newsletter, I wrote about how your ultimate purpose is you (which, if you haven’t, you can subscribe to here), and that served as inspiration for this post.
Because if that quote has stuck in my mind for so long, what other quotes can there be? And would they be able to help you? I don’t know, but let’s find out.
1. I get to do this
If there’s one quote that’s been at the forefront of my mind lately, it has to be this. Whenever I’m faced with dread, I just need to repeat this quote to totally flip the script on myself.
For instance, working out every day can be a drag, but I get to do it. So many other people can’t due to various reasons: sickness, responsibilities, or just the fact that they aren’t even alive. And here I am whining about not ‘feeling it’?
Also, I eat healthy most days, but sometimes wish I didn’t have to. Yet when I look at my plate of veggies and chicken breasts, all I need is to repeat the mantra and suddenly I’m grateful for being able to give my body the nutrition it deserves. Some people live in food deserts and can’t eat healthy even if they wanted to.
This simple reminder can turn even the most mundane tasks into pursuits of glory. So whenever you find yourself staring down a bucketload of dread, remind yourself how lucky you are that you get to do what you want.
And if this trick doesn’t work, then perhaps you need to ask yourself why you’re doing it in the first place.
2. You gotta bully yourself first so that others can’t
Self-care is such an overused term that people tend to use it as an excuse to rescind any morsel of responsibility.
I do believe that we should always care for number one, and that we should put ourselves first before we try taking care of others, but I draw the line at making things worse in the name of ‘self-care’.
If spa appointments, shopping sprees, or eating a tub of ice cream allows you to be the best version of yourself, then go at it.
But me? I can’t find it in myself to go deeper in the red where self-confidence is concerned, because when that happens, I’ll be such a dick to everybody else around me.
Which is why I try to be stern with self, just so I can become a pillar for others.
When I wake up earlier than I want to, I’m building my self-confidence. When I go out for that run when it’s dark out, I slather another layer of confidence atop my fragile self-worth. When I finish that blog post despite being worded out for the day, I’m setting myself apart from the writers who only say they want to write but don’t.
You can’t magically start believing in yourself. It’s something you have to realise through action.
It’s like that Russell Peters joke about the terrorists: “You kill me? I kill me.”
3. The world is as you are
In a world of cancel culture and people being so quick to feel triggered, it’s inevitable to one day clash heads with someone of opposite values.
And I’m not immune to that. I get annoyed by haters as much as you. But then I remember that the world will go on, with or without my opinions and beliefs.
Plus, my reaction to external events is more a reflection of me than the world.
Think about a past problem. Does it still bother you? Think about the problems that keep you up at night. Then recall a time when you’d just completed a tough workout. How did those problems seem then?
So it makes sense to pay attention to the state that we’re in. Feel bad and everything else takes on a more sinister undertone. Feel good and even the biggest problems just roll off your back.
Just look to the people like Nelson Mandela, Viktor Frankl, Helen Keller, and Gandhi, who have managed to find peace amidst horrific conditions. I don’t know how they found the strength, but they’ve definitely proved that it’s about how we look at the problem and not the problem itself.
4. The most important time to do something is when you can’t
Waking up early and exercising is a routine to me now. It’s not easy, but thanks to the power of habit, nor is it a particularly tough pursuit.
But there are days when I just don’t have the energy to lift a finger. Maybe I ate too much junk the day before, or maybe I overexerted myself.
This is when most people would encourage rest, because life is all about balance, right? It’s better to refresh myself and come back stronger, right?
Thing is, as I’ve shared earlier, that’s not how I gain self-confidence. I need to know that I can rely on myself, especially when things get tough. And the only way I can prove that to myself is to step up when the situation calls for it.
So the moment I’m thinking of avoiding a task is exactly when I get to test what I’m made of. It’s easy to stick to a plan when everything goes my way. But life doesn’t always go my way. And I need to be ready for that.
5. The obstacle is the way
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but avoiding problems isn’t something to aspire to in life.
Here’s an embarrassing example: I hate cockroaches. So when one crawls out the woodwork, I’ll act as if I didn’t see it, hoping that it’ll go away on its own. Worse is when I ask my partner Yen to deal with it.
But that’s a terrible way to deal with this problem. I can’t run from cockroaches forever, the same way I can’t hide from my fears forever. Trying to sweep that problem under the rug is just ensuring that I never get over it.
And it’s not my fear of cockroaches that’ll get me in the end. It’s my inability to face my problems that’ll do me in.
It’s the same for confrontation. Or procrastination. Or falling in love. The more you avoid your problems, the more they’ll continue to haunt you.
So the next time you face your obstacles, don’t wish for a life devoid of them. Instead, design a life that allows you to conquer each and every one of your problems.
6. You are your purpose
In the humdrum of paying your bills and taking care of responsibilities, it’s easy to forget that you should be your main purpose in life.
It doesn’t matter if you have seven children to feed or if you just need to make the monthly payments on your car. You should always be the main focus in your life.
A wise monk once said that you need to light your own candle first before you can light others’, and I totally believe that.
You can’t kill it financially yet be one flight of stairs away from a heart attack. Conversely, you can’t be a fitfluencer but rely on your partner to pay the rent.
Every day, I try to be just a tiny bit better than the last. I try to be fitter. Smarter. A few hundred words deeper into my novel. Every day has a purpose. And that purpose is you. Me. Us.
Don’t let your day go to waste.
7. Just write
This is just a bonus that pertains largely to my unique circumstances. I stand by this mantra because every good thing that’s ever happened to me has been a result of me just writing.
I got to travel the world, meet interesting people, and become a traditionally-published author, all because I did the simple thing of just writing. As Neil Gaiman says, it’s that easy. But it’s also that hard.
Just thought I’d drop this little nugget here if you happen to be into writing (which I highly suspect you do).
Quotes only have power if you practise them
Now, you can either passively consume quotes, or you can add them to your value system. The world isn’t short on motivational quotes, but there’s no point collecting them if you’re not going to act.
So I hope my favourites have added a new perspective to your life. And in the meantime, you can also share if you want: What quotes do you live by?
Get more quotes (and goodies) through my newsletter. If you liked this piece, then the exclusive stories I send you through the mail will be right up your alley.
Stuart Danker 
I’d love to hear your thoughts!