Stuart Danker

All your life you’ve been told you’re not enough. You’re too soft. Too short. Too broke.

And you believe it too, because people like David Chappelle, Barack Obama, and Muhammad Ali exist, people who would dance circles (quite literally in Ali’s case) around their problems. You’ll never be like them. Those people are special.

Yet, you try. You join the Toastmasters Club. You read How To Win Friends And Influence People. You even join the service industry, thinking it’ll help you with your social skills, but the only thing you learn from that stint is how to cut hair.

Year after year, you find yourself banging against an invisible wall. You apply techniques you see on YouTube or hacks you read online, yet it feels like you’re going against your very own nature every time you try to fake it till you make it.

Soon, you resort to cliches. Every time management chides you for being too much in your shell, you reply with that adage about not judging a fish on its ability to ride a bike. Still, somewhere in a corner of your mind, you wish you were simply… better.

You wish you could walk into a room and be noticed. You wish you handle being noticed. Also, you fantasise about how much easier your life would be if you could just handle a little more confrontation, like telling somebody that the line is behind you, or that you don’t appreciate them speaking over you.

But that’s simply not your nature, so you simply accept your fate. You botch a social interaction. And another. And another.

And another.

You compliment somebody on their hair, and you wonder if it sounded more like a backhand remark. That shit keeps you up at night—for weeks in a row.

A hotel receptionist tells you to enjoy your holiday and you reply with “You too”. That happened two years ago, and you still make weird noises to cope with the cringe.

You’re so vigilant about cues of boredom that you’d do anything not to see another long exhale, foot tap, or glazed stare. You’re not sure if you’re overly paranoid or if the person you’re with breathes a sigh of relief whenever a mutual friend joins in.

This is what you think of yourself, but you’ve forgotten one thing.

You’ve forgotten that you have good friends. Great people you’ve met in life. People you forward memes to, complain to, or go out for drinks with.

People who were once strangers, who’d also witnessed your bumbling version of small talk. People who noticed how quiet you were at dinner, or how shifty-eyed you were every time you spoke.

That didn’t stop you from becoming friends. Some of them end up being your closest confidants. Others end up sharing umbrellas with you on a rainy day. Every time you recall the fond memories you’ve built with someone, you get a sense of peace with who you are. Because it was every side of you—awkward or not—that played a role in forging this bond.

Yes, you might not be David Chappelle, Barack Obama, or Muhammad Ali. But you’re you. And nobody can ever emulate that. Because you? You are enough.